Premka, Yogi Bhajan and Kundalini Yoga – My Reflections

2020 Reveals the Truth

2020 is a year of deep truth, shocking revelations, and the need for honesty, compassion, and neutrality. Get used to the fact that there is no place to hide. We cannot find peace in our opinions. We can find peace only in our hearts. Can you handle what is being exposed? How do you handle it? These are the critical questions of 2020 and beyond.
See my book – 2020 Makeover, Your Astrology for a New Beginning


Premka’s Story

In her book Premka – White Dove in a Golden Cage – My Life with Yogi Bhajan, Premka honestly tells her personal story. As Yogi Bhajan’s Secretary General for sixteen years, Premka was the creative genius who brought to life the organizational structures that made it possible for Yogi Bhajan to manifest his vision.

If we are interested in this woman’s story, then read her words, acknowledge her pain and her courage, and pay close attention to how she describes her inner journey. Artfully written with so much sincerity and love, there is much to teach us, if we read without interjecting our own opinion about her or her experiences. And without interjecting our opinion about Yogi Bhajan.

It is tempting to take sides. Whatever ‘truth’ we choose to believe, if we are fixated on the righteousness of our own judgments, this story gives us yet another opportunity to feed our negativity and validate our opinions. We will, however, have to live with our own pain and inner conflict, which we must eventually acknowledge and accept to free ourselves from our self-constructed and willfully perpetuated mental prison. We always get a better view from the high road.

This is Premka’s story about her devotion to a man and a mission. It is about living with dominating male energy in a patriarchal world. It is also about how she gradually woke up and liberated herself from childhood conditioning, beliefs, and illusions that controlled her psyche.

This is a story about a woman who could not be made into a man, even though all the privilege of the male world was bestowed upon her. She was given status, but she also had to work to exhaustion to do her multiple jobs. She was given privileged access, but paid with emotional deprivation, coldness, and inner torment.

This is a story about a woman’s evolution in consciousness and how she listened to her own truth, followed her own path, and claimed her womanhood and her right to love and be loved.

You have to read her book to the end to understand what she is communicating.


Different Worlds

Yogi Bhajan maintained (controlled and manipulated) a small group of both men and women who served him without question. This book reveals some of the secrets and hypocrisy of that well-guarded world. The rest of his students did not have access to this inner circle. Many others around the world served in various capacities without question. Some knew (or suspected) that something was going on ‘behind the scenes,’ but there was no room for doubting or discussion. The operating mode was a combination of denial and appreciation for the teacher who delivered the powerful technology of Kundalini Yoga and precious spiritual teachings to eager and devoted students.

I have written eleven books based on what I learned from Yogi Bhajan. He was the first to awaken me to the fact that A woman is a woman, not a person, not a man. My inner woman carefully extracted what spoke to my womanhood (and excluded all patriarchal advice) in my two books The Destiny of Women is the Destiny of the World and The Gift of Womanhood – Inner Mastery, Outer Mystery.

It is my personal experience that an honest, authentic, and happy life requires discrimination in this world, where the reality of duality can too easily degenerate into taking sides, conflict, duplicity, and abuse.

We can never be happy if we live in fear and are possessed by anger. No matter what our life experiences, it is our responsibility to free ourselves from the past and elevate ourselves into the reality of love.


How  We Relate to and Express the Universal Polarities– Personal Assessment

The intense astrological configurations in 2020 challenge us to face our own consciousness in relation to how we encounter and express both universal polarities – in human terms – the masculine mind and the feminine emotions and body. Is our mind conflicted and judgmental, or neutral, observant, and at peace? Are our emotional and physical bodies relaxed into the flow of our own life and able to transmute pain into compassion and love for ourselves and each other?

It is time for each of us to take a personal assessment of where we are at in our expression of both our inner masculine and our inner feminine. Chapter VII – ‘The Stable and Flowing Polarities’ in my book The Inner Art of Kundalini Yoga – Awaken Your Heart to Love can help you evaluate the status and expression of both.)

Does our mind connect us to the Infinite One that is the final authority, or are we still looking for a human authority outside ourselves? If so, in some way we will always be disappointed. Do our emotional and physical bodies resonate with the rich aliveness of our unique human expression? Or are we still possessed by fear and anger that create pain, suffering, and disease?

If we live in these questions, we won’t distract ourselves from our own journey and fill our mind with judgments. No one’s human incarnation is easy. We all face challenges. When we courageously accept our own life situations and refrain from interfering with others, we have a better chance.

The Tao says, ‘The quickest way to enlightenment is through non-judgment.’


Write Your Own Story and Keep in Mind

2020 invites each of us to write our own story about how we have dealt (and are dealing) with our life challenges, and the progress we have made (and are making) in handling life in more mature and accepting ways, i.e. giving up resistance and feeling victimized. Every day offers us the possibility of moving toward our destination of self-love and awakening to universal oneness.

Ask yourself – Do I trust myself? Do I want to trust myself? Am I willing to do what it takes to get to the depth of my inner knowing so that I am able to trust (love and accept) myself and my life?


The Human Challenge

It is important to keep in mind that humans have always been challenged to behave within certain standards. With fluctuating hormones, persistent sexual desires, and endless emotions, it is hard to become and act like a functional, whole, self-empowered adult. But humans have been bestowed with a highly refined brain and self-consciousness. Our potential to develop higher levels of consciousness must, however, be developed. The technology of Kundalini Yoga and Meditation offers us the tools to do so.

Over millennia, men have developed spiritual practices and paths for men to try to deal with their inherent built-in human nature. But by negating, suppressing, and condemning the feeling, feminine, emotional part of our humanness, this mental escapism into ‘enlightenment’ hasn’t had much success. Now we are trying to extract ourselves from the mess we have created and the pain and destruction that this ‘upper chakras good, lower chakras bad’ approach has created for both men and women and Mother Earth herself.

The Earth school experiment and our human embodiment always challenges us with imperfection so that we can evolve into more loving states of being. If we evaluate ourselves or others according to an unrealistic ‘perfection’ illusion, we will never find happiness or peace. But if neutral compassion is our touchstone, we have a chance. Will we give ourselves a chance?


The Deeper Issues

This is not about taking sides, i.e. defending or attacking Yogi Bhajan. Good-bad, right-wrong thinking will always lead us in a downward spiral.

Maybe we also need to notice how addicted we are to the drama that this black and white thinking creates. An article about the benefits of our personal sadhana would get only a small fraction of the attention this book is getting.

The deeper issues include:

  1. identifying how we seek to confirm our current beliefs and gather information to lock us in our own self-righteous cages,
  2. realizing that we gain nothing by affirming our powerlessness, victimhood, and lack of self-love,
  3. admitting that we blame parental authority figures when they fail to save us from our own ability to trust ourselves and our own inner guidance, and
  4. hoping that we can find someone to take care of us so we don’t have to take care of ourselves.

Chapter Eleven in 2020 Makeover explains in detail the deeper issues that the Pluto and Saturn archetypes in Capricorn (self-mastery) are exposing for each of the zodiac signs. This discussion can help you explore the themes of your own story.

Kelly Brogan MD explains in her insightful article, Yogi Bhajan and the Kundalini Yoga Community, that the deeper issues arise when what we trust is an idealized projection of who we want, and think we need, another person (or situation) to be. When the human person (or situation) doesn’t live up to our fantasy expectations, our victim consciousness is confirmed and we blame the other (or situation) for our helplessness and pain.

There is no winner in the blame/shame game. There is no freedom or peace either.

In her book, Premka admits that she gave her power to Yogi Bhajan to guide her choices and chose to disregard her own intuitive voice. She acknowledges how her unhealed childhood wounds of not feeling wanted and her desire to be loved drove her to idealize and trust the parental role of Yogi Bhajan.



The transparency of the current times is not just about revealing abuse by external power figures, it is about revealing our inner programming that has given both individuals and institutions power over us. It is about becoming aware of our own self-hatred and taking back responsibility for our own lives and loving ourselves. It is about the transformation that can come from thinking and feeling for ourselves. It is about finding the eternal silence within, trusting that it will always be there for us, and surrendering to this higher power as the force that guides and protects us. It is about deepening our spiritual journey so we no longer need the external figures and attention that we once depended upon. It is about self-initiation – a major theme of Yogi Bhajan’s teachings.


Gratitude and Acceptance

I am infinitely grateful for the technology of Kundalini Yoga and the spiritual guidance offered to us by Yogi Bhajan. I have followed Yogi Bhajan’s advice to make the technology my guru. I have practiced daily for over 40 years. I must honestly say, that my progress is slower than I would have liked, but I didn’t know what was possible or what I could even hope for. I just trusted that this technology was the best available to me and that it would work if I committed to a daily sadhana.

I am sad (but accepting) that Yogi Bhajan didn’t practice Kundalini Yoga and take better care of his health, which he admitted himself. Although his human life as a man didn’t match up to what he taught, I am grateful that he brought through these amazing teachings that have helped me and many others activate our creative potential and awaken to the richness of our humanness. It is human to be disappointed when we become aware of discrepancies in the life of someone we looked up to. But it is also human to forgive, move on, and do better ourselves. And to do so we must become emotional and spiritual adults.


Listen with Compassion

We can support those who have been subjected to abuse by simply listening and accepting their suffering as they have experienced it. Acceptance and listening without judgment could be what helps another sister to heal from their wounds and traumas.


Many Truths

There are always two or more sides to every story, and so many variables at play as we interact with each other and participate in human life and the cosmic dance. In the density of the physical plane we try to be conscious and do the best we can, but so much is happening beyond what we can know about the karma and evolution that is playing out. Everyone has their own reality, truth and dark shadow side, including Yogi Bhajan. The weight of the structural patriarchy and the drive for power disconnected from feelings and love has seriously affected the psych of both men and woman. We all suffer together.

We can’t avoid pain and we can’t avoid feeling any more. It is through feeling the pain in our own bodies that we can transmute fear into love, abandonment into connection, rejection into acceptance, and shame into aliveness.


Change Our Focus

Much of our discussion has been about men and their abuse of power. But what about women? What role do we play? My summary of the human challenge is

Men need to learn how to BEHAVE themselves.

Women need to learn how to BE themselves.

 To women – let’s direct our conversation to being authentic women!

There are no simplistic formulas, but there are some basic issues we must address and deal with.


The Emotional Interlock

It is unfortunate, but understandable, that men who have never experienced a deep connection with Mother Love will have difficultly respecting and loving women. It is also understandable that men who bond with their mother’s anger, fear, and frustration become angry and destructive. When a woman suffers from self-hatred, she passes this wound to both her girl and boy children. Basically we are imprinted with our mother’s emotional body, which passes on generational wounds. The interlock continues until we break through with our own healing. In sum, we suffer together, and together we can heal and uplift each other.


Woman’s Role – Mother Love

Women’s pain comes not only from giving away their power to men, but also from not being who they are. Actually when we know who we are as women, we don’t give away our power, and we use it to make our unique contribution. Women have a special role to play. Without the subtle sensitivity of Mother Love, neither women nor men can heal, and we can’t practice what we preach.

Without connection to what we feel in our bodies, practices meant to elevate consciousness can devolve into rituals and fail to dislodge stuck energy and imprints from our emotional and physical bodies. We can remain an empty facade prone to destructive behaviors. This means that our practice of Kundalini Yoga must include time to feel and also attention to developing our sensitivity to subtle energies –both uncomfortable and pleasurable. This is a topic that I discuss in all my books and will continue to focus on in my courses.


Dear Sisters

Now is our opportunity to shift our focus to being women of love and peace and embodiments of the sacred feminine. With the compassionate heart of the Mother we can heal, be who we are, support each other, and work together to create inclusive and supportive organizations that serve Love and Peace for all.

My dear friends, I will end for the moment. I have spent many days (and sadhanas) composing this blog, which has grown by the day. I know you are waiting for me to share.

May we always stay connected in our hearts.

Many blessings and much love to each of you!

Guru Rattana :+)